Meeting someone and generally trying to have a particular effect on that person creates anxiety for most people, those just starting to date and even those "experienced" in the dating field. Something triggers the hormones in your body into sudden overdrive but it is what you do after this trigger that counts. Some people even after making the initial contact with the opposite sex tend to be unsure of what to do next. But there are others who waste no time in the art of seduction once the contact has been established.
Seduction stands for different things in different cultures and different groups of peoples. While seduction for some people inspires images of love and emotional intimacy, and generates a feeling of excitement, sensuality and sexual desire, most people don't like the idea of "seducing". For many others, the idea of seduction creates a fear of being deceived, victimized and sexually harassed. It usually implies that the seducer is acting out of a motive other than love for the seducee, and that the object of the seduction would not ordinarily have engaged in such behavior.
Attempts in the last few decades to make our society more sex-positive have only produced a viciously superficial discourse that has further succeeded in intensifying our fear of the art of seduction as something if allowed to be freely expressed, is hurtful, destructive and damaging to us as individuals and to society as a whole.
In our modern society, seduction corresponds with deception, trickery, selfishness, exploitation, pretense and/or a play on words. One is seduced by the promises of a lover, a salesman, a politician, or an artist. Seduction seems clearly designed to trick one into taking nonsense for reality. We see this kind of seduction celebrated as entertainment and advertised as a commodity complete with pornographic images, narrative and symbolism. We see it in the media, movies, music videos, work place, school, and is even taught at metaphysical seminars that it is virtually impossible to escape it in every day everyday life. Many celebrities and stars owe their fame to their mastery of seduction.
This disenchanted interpretation of seduction as a desire which wants to be acted out, the body as something which cannot wait to be undressed has infiltrated even our sexual relationships. Seduction in most cases has nothing to do with love or even being attracted to the other person. Instead it is about getting something - like sex or financial favours through the use of deceit and trickery. Many of us suffer from its disastrous influence and it would be easy to point out many spheres where our attempts at the art of seduction are more manipulative and selfish than loving and selfless.
Most people learn the power of exploitative seduction from a very young age using seduction to get what they want from their parents and siblings, special favors from the teacher and other kids. It starts when a child who often is shy, insecure and doesn't feel confident in him or herself becomes aware that by seducing others, she or he can get attention from those whom she or he seduces. This attention in some way gives the child a sense of self worth. Through seduction, the child feels like the other person likes him or her because they pay more attention, give and do things which make the child feel special. But this is a false sense of self worth. If they aren't able to seduce someone they feel unworthy and so step up the seduction.
As they grew older they continue this pattern and automatically switch on this seduction when they want something from someone. They feel good when they are able to seduce, but in the core of their being, self worth is contingent on whether they can seduce another or not. Seduction feeds their lack of self worth, lack of confidence, lack of feeling good about themselves. If they are not able to seduce they feel unworthy. Some people have perfected this art that they are not even consciously aware of it.
When we seduce in this way, it is only a false sense of power based on another allowing us to seduce them. When we are exploitatively seduced, we basically have given our power away to the seducer. It takes away from naturalness, "truth," and the entire reality of the empowering qualities of the art of seduction A person in their own personal power, full of self love and self worth has no need to seduce in a manipulative way, nor can they be manipulatively seduced.
Given the fact that manipulative seduction has impregnated our modern world, are frustrating, superficial, mechanical, predictable, manipulative, selfish, emotionally disconnected relationship void of passion and heightened intimacy inevitable? Should we throw up our hands and never hope to possess the rare transformative well of power, healing and spiritual elevation that the art of seduction offers?
Certainly not! Ancient practitioners of the art of seduction were so amazed at the power of this energy that they were convinced it was the secret of youth, healthy and vitality.
Our human nature is not so altered that we cannot do our part. Indeed, the evolutionary job had already begun. The modern versions of "ancient rituals and practices" provide modern audiences with glimpses of what the art of seduction once was, but when we start believing that it is the only way to connect with the opposite sex, then we fall into the trap of memorized pickup lines and mechanical seduction scripts which steal away from us the very power that makes the art of seduction so naturally powerful. We invariably lose both the heart and the soul of the seduction phenomenon and thus our connection to one of the deepest and most profound aspects of human fulfillment.
It's time to demystify and rehabilitate the lost art of seduction and put its mega power to use. The whole mystery of this forgotten and long-misunderstood timeless ritual may well be what we need today to rescue us from the current erotic famine, get our groove back on and the fire back in our groins.
Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of e-Books: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness, Breaking A Bad Relationships Pattern, and Playing Hard-To-Get The Love Way.
By Yangki Christine Akiteng
From James MALLON
